A Tribute to my Cat, Beatrice (in four acts)
I. I AM BEATRICE
I am Beatrice, not a girl but a boy, from hunters past
lions, jaguars, pumas, leopards, tigers, saber-tooth,
and swimming cats.
Adopted by two furless, tailess, fangless, minus two
legged human hunters- hunters never will they be-who
took me in when I was just a wee.
I tolerate these hapless yahoos for they do the best they
can to accommodate me.
And you try adapting to life with these two (rolls eyes) geeze!
I am Beatrice, not a girl but a boy, from stories told:
Fierce, noble; courageous, majestic and demure.(pass the pigeon, por favor!)
As a species we lived throughout history in Sicily, Spain, Egypt, New England, Salem, Glasgow, London & Paris, & Africa.
And now I take up residence in Farmington, New Mexica!
I am Beatrice, not a girl but a boy, from stories told:
Fierce, noble; courageous, majestic and demure. (what are you looking at?!)
Prey tell, I bring dead mice to show them how easy it can be. But they never seem to grasp my art for pouncing, scratching, pawing and gnawing, as best as I can see.
Hunting is natural to me and cooking gives them a thrill. I place my fresh kill next to their pickled chicken on the grill. Do you think they will try to fry it up, oh no, they act so surprised (@&^*%$ oye vey). So I snatch my prey back and dine alone on my fine cuisine with catnip and dill. Yum!
I am Beatrice, not a girl but a boy, from stories told:
Fierce, noble; courageous, independent and demure. (I feel a hairball coming on?!)
I am Beatrice, not a girl but a boy, felis sylvestris catus, who loves Nepeta cataria, my beloved catnipitis!
I am Beatrice, not a girl but a boy, from hunters past - lions, jaguars, pumas, leopards, tigers, saber-tooth, and swimming cats.
II. ODE TO CATNIP
Of all the foods in my whiskered mouth
I do prey there is one I can't live without.
Oh, yes, I like: cheerios, raisins, pretzels and potato chips.
Then there's butter, olive oil, cream cheese and ice cream.
Let's not forget tuna, salmon, halibut, cod, shrimp, lobster and scallops.
And the ordinary mice, birds, spiders, grasshoppers and ground squirrels, if lucky.
There is one food I must have without a doubt.
Oh, catnip, oh catnip, nepeta cataria:||
Your tender leaves gives my nose a sneeze;
Your sweet aroma makes me dream la paloma.
Oh, catnip, oh catnip, nepeta cataria:||
III. SLUMBER
Uh, oh! oh no! Slippery, silky, sleezy, slow-eyed, sluggish,
drowsy sleepy-smile washing over me. Uh, oh! oh no!
My eyes are droopy but I have to guard from 9pm-4am------zzzzzz
Protect my kingdom and my turf from trespassers and things that buzz, chirp, growl, brrr, bilp, squash, creak throughout the night!
Uh, oh! oh no! Slippery, silky, sleezy, slow-eyed, sluggish, drowsy dreamy-smile washing o-ver-- me.
Uh, oh! oh no! OH, YEAH [goes to sleep-snores]
IV. MY NEIGHBORHOOD (calypso feel)
I'm de mayor of Lynwood Street (de, de, de). Migrated from de Serengeti (de, de, de) where all my food roams free (de, de, de).
[Now I dodge traffic, cars and trucks from being road kill feed. Beep!]
This is my territory, explore by day and hunt by night.
I'm de mayor of Lynwood. That's right!
· Prowl for strangers, chase
Pomeranians. [woof, woof, woof]
· Go for rides to Diary Queen, lick--
ing my ice cream clean. [slup, slup]
· Visit neighbor felines -- [see us
recline- aren't we divine!]
[Like goldilocks, slip into homes, sleep on their beds and give them a shock.]
This is my territory, explore by day and hunt by night.
I'm de mayor of Lynwood. That's right!___________________
I am Beatrice, not a girl but a boy, felis sylvestris catus - lions, jaguars, pumas, leopards, tigers, saber-tooth, and swimming cats.
